Imagine laying there on your bed, messing around on your laptop or reading a book or whatever it is you do, and you get hungry. So you get up to go to the kitchen to get food.
Well....
I dont make it past my door.
See, when I started to open it something caught my attention. I looked down and see this brown thing looking up at me as it comes into the crack of space I have just foolishly made by opening the door. It takes me a second to realize that this is a SPIDER, and then I'm frozen in fear.
It decides it likes the look of my room and my new book case so it comes in and huddles against it right beside the door. Now when it moved it took its eyes off me which enabled me to run backwards, trip and fall onto my bed, grab the laptop and cling it to me like it was the last chocolate chip cookie in the universe, I scooted as far back against the wall as I could.
So freaking out I message some friends telling them about the "HUGE SPIDER IN MY EFFING ROOM!" and how "IT HAS ME TRAPPED AND ITS GOING TO KILL ME!!"
They all laughed and told me to just kill it. Obviously they must have been illiterate and blind. I typed it in caps. "HUGE" "SPIDER" "HAS ME TRAPPED" "GOING TO KILL ME"
One of my friends actually agreed that it was going to kill me and that it was currently glaring at me. Sure enough it was. So me and spider had a stare down for 20 minutes before i get all paranoid and google what kind of spider it could be. I managed to thoroughly freak myself out. It was a wolf spider. Name sounds cool but what I read about it was NOT. "faster and more agile" "better eyesight" IT WASN'T MY IMAGINATION! IT REALLY WAS STARING ME DOWN!!
So I decide ill just stay up and stare it down till it dies from my glare. Well I guess it was starting to work because it decided to up the stakes. It MOVED towards me. I stifled a scream and panicked looking around for something to throw at it but it stopped and we just stared at each other for another 10 minutes or so.
Then I got brave. I picked up a shoe and baby stepped towards it ever so slowly. But when i got close enough I realized the shoe wasnt going to work, because the spider was so big and it moves real fast. What if i tried to crush it but it moves out the way and jumps onto my hand??? I quickly back away not taking my eyes off it. I find my waist basket, pick it up, and baby step back towards the spider. And have my dilemma....
Should I cover it and trap it so as not to incur any spidery vengeance, or should I just crush it and be done with it? If i trap it I still wouldn't be able to get out my door since it would be in the way of opening it. And I had to use the bathroom. So that was my decision, I calmly positioned the basket, took a bunch of deep breaths to build up my courage and then....
It moved.
I squealed.
It moved again towards the door.
I squealed and moved back.
It disappeared out the door.
I stood there staring, thinking it was gonna pop back in. It didnt. So I baby stepped closer to the door and thinking it was gonna suddenly slam my door wide open and come flying at me like a vicious rabid flying spider, I closed the door and ran to my bed. Watching the door. Just watching.
And waiting.....
Hahaha, I remember an encounter with one of those things. It was on the window sill of mine and my best friend Kenneth's apartment. Him being terrified of it, I opted to slay the beast. So I grab a flip flop an go to smack it. Kenneth was across the room at this point. Well, I smack the spider, and it jumps on the shoe which I promptly flung behind me. It hit Kenneth and he took off screaming down the hall. I bout died laughing.
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