Monday, July 23, 2012

I'm a bird god

Traveling by plane can be fun, scarey, or both. I recently got to ride on, not one but, THREE planes for the first time. Which is quite an experience for someone who has never even been to an airport before.

Now because I was  first time flyer everyone was telling me I needed to go TWO hours before the departure time. I was thinking that was a bit too early personally, but hey I've never flown before so maybe they are right. So I get to the airport at like 5:20am, which is actually more like 1.5 hours instead of 2. It was a pretty straight forward airport so finding where to go was kinda easy. So I made my way to the security check and let me tell you, that winding rope way stuff is real annoying when there arnt any people there and you have to go to the front. My carry on suitcase was a bit too heavy for me so when I tried putting it up on the belt for it to get scanned I almost toppled over. That would have been embarrassing and I was happy not many people would have even seen if it had happened. Then came the metal detector....

I'm only familiar with the ones you walk threw, this was one that was cylinder shaped and that you stood inside with your feet apart and hands on your head. Kinda like you're waiting to be teleported with an awkward pose, or you're preparing to be shot out into a pipe system similar to the ones that banks use although I think you would get pretty banged up if you did. But instead of either of those it's more like the way you pose while a cop frisks you. That's right, I was being frisked by an invisible source of power searching for precious metal to sustain its life force!! I'm glad it didn't want my zipper.

Having survived my frisking I make my way to my gate finding it pretty easily. I'm the first one there and I have over an hour to wait. So I pull out my iPod and think to myself why it was necessary for me to come this early.....I got nothing :/ so I just sit around waiting and thinking about playing air guitar while jumping from seat to seat. More people come about 30 minutes later and sadly non of them look like they would want to join my air band, that's fine though, I don't want them in my band anyway.

When it's time to board the plane I find my seat (window seat yay!!!!) and because it a real small plane I didn't have a seat buddy. Everything was so breath taking, but because I didn't want to pass out I refused to let it take my breath away. I was supper excited when the plane started take off. I felt like I was being sucked back into my seat. Then the plane turned on its side, the side I happened to be on, and I was thinking the plane was going to fall, but it didn't. I loved looking at the land from above. So green and varying height going up and down. The cars that looked like shiny little beetles. And then we flew too high for me to look at the beetle country below, so I focused my attention on the clouds around me. The flight itself was really smooth, the landing wasn't though. So I disembarked and headed to my next destination.

This next airport was pretty big to me but again it seemed pretty straight forward where I should go. I got to ride on the skylink, almost falling over when it started going. It was nice being able to look out at small bits of the city and airport. I was the 2ed person to arrive at the gate for my flight. Again I had about an hours wait for my flight and I thought about going and riding on the skyline to pass some time but decided not to since I didn't want to drag my luggage around. This time I got an aisle seat, which is as far from the window as you can get, so I was a little disappointed, but then someone offered to trade with me so yay! Closer to the window I went. That flight was awful it's only redeeming factor was flying threw a thin cloud on the wing. The pilot kept doing things to make my stomach drop, and I know it wasn't just me because other people complained about it too. So of course the landing was even crappier.



The next airport was where I had the longest wait for my flight. So I got me some food and drink and sat around people watching. After I had my fill of that I went in search of my gate, which was a little harder than the previous ones. I rode on a little train thing that was like the skylink at the previous place only underground. I have to say I think riding those things was my favorite part of airports. I could spend hours on them!! I got off where I was supposed to and found I had a loooooong walk ahead of me (gate 94 out of 95) but I didn't mind because that was more things and people I could see.



I saw this real cute little girl playing tag with her baby brother, only old enough to crawl, running in circles around him. He got bored of always being it and not being able to get her so he crawled away. He came to my aisle of seats, stopping to look at each person, and when he saw me he smiled and started booking it as fast as his little arms and knees could make his tubby baby body go towards me. His father saw this and strode over, scooping him up and walked away.

So we had a little bit of trouble when it came to boarding for this flight, because they were missing some crew members. We waited like 20 minutes only to find that the one we were waiting on had been among us the entire time!!! TRAITOR!! So anyways, I was pleasantly rewarded, for not punching that guy, with a window seat. Yayz! Although that flight was very cloudy, I did get to see the sunset behind some mountains. It was so beautiful, I only wish my camera took better pictures so I could have taken a decent one.



Friday, July 13, 2012

Restaurants

Recently I've been going to restaurants more often. In fact more so in the past 2weeks than I have in the past 5 years! Maybe because I feel out of place in them and don't like making a fool of myself.

So we'll go to a restaurant, be seated, and then the waitress will give us our menus. It's there I panic.The same thing always happens when I receive a menu...

"What should I get? What can I get? what should I ask for? I'm not paying so something non too pricey. Well what should I get!?!!?"

In the middle of my mental brutality of barraging myself with questions, and vaguely skimming the menu but not remembering A THING, the waitress will ask me what I want to drink.

Now since most likely I have never been to the restaurant I have no idea what they have, and I cant remember any beverages that I skimmed (IF i did), so I'll stare up at the waitress, blushing and mentally kicking myself for not looking for the drinks first, and ask her "What do you have?" She'll go on a list of what they have and I'll be making a list in my head of what sounds good. Occasionally if I'm really craving it I'll ask if they have any cherry flavored drinks. The results are about 50/50.

So the waitress will leave and I'll have time to skim the menu again (SOMETIMES), this time taking note of things I might want. Then I'll compare things I want by what I would like most and by price. Then the waitress comes and asks what we want to order....by this time I'm either still in the middle of deciding or I've JUST decided. So I'll tell her....and have a 75% chance of stumbling over my words and feeling like an idiot.

After the food comes I'll keep thinking about how clumsy I am, and mentally assault myself. "Don't you dare drop a fork or anything, if you do you'll be stabbed. Don't you dare knock over the drink or your next one will have spit in it. Don't you dare drop food onto you, you'll die of embarrassment!"

And I'll look at whoever is there with me watching them react all normal and think, "Why am I the only one who feels so out of place q.q It's because you hate me isn't it restaurant?!" And it's then that I either spill my drink or food, drop a utensil, or something of the likes to thoroughly embarrass myself and verify that restaurants do, indeed, hate me.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Spiders

Kind of hard to be bored when there is a spider about.

Imagine laying there on your bed, messing around on your laptop or reading a book or whatever it is you do, and you get hungry. So you get up to go to the kitchen to get food.

Well....
I dont make it past my door.
See, when I started to open it something caught my attention. I looked down and see this brown thing looking up at me as it comes into the crack of space I have just foolishly made by opening the door. It takes me a second to realize that this is a SPIDER, and then I'm frozen in fear.

It decides it likes the look of my room and my new book case so it comes in and huddles against it right beside the door. Now when it moved it took its eyes off me which enabled me to run backwards, trip and fall onto my bed, grab the laptop and cling it to me like it was the last chocolate chip cookie in the universe, I scooted as far back against the wall as I could.

So freaking out I message some friends telling them about the "HUGE SPIDER IN MY EFFING ROOM!" and how "IT HAS ME TRAPPED AND ITS GOING TO KILL ME!!"

They all laughed and told me to just kill it. Obviously they must have been illiterate and blind. I typed it in caps. "HUGE" "SPIDER" "HAS ME TRAPPED" "GOING TO KILL ME"

One of my friends actually agreed that it was going to kill me and that it was currently glaring at me. Sure enough it was. So me and spider had a stare down for 20 minutes before i get all paranoid and google what kind of spider it could be. I managed to thoroughly freak myself out. It was a wolf spider. Name sounds cool but what I read about it was NOT. "faster and more agile" "better eyesight" IT WASN'T MY IMAGINATION! IT REALLY WAS STARING ME DOWN!!



So I decide ill just stay up and stare it down till it dies from my glare. Well I guess it was starting to work because it decided to up the stakes. It MOVED towards me. I stifled a scream and panicked looking around for something to throw at it but it stopped and we just stared at each other for another 10 minutes or so.

Then I got brave. I picked up a shoe and baby stepped towards it ever so slowly. But when i got close enough I realized the shoe wasnt going to work, because the spider was so big and it moves real fast. What if i tried to crush it but it moves out the way and jumps onto my hand??? I quickly back away not taking my eyes off it. I find my waist basket, pick it up, and baby step back towards the spider. And have my dilemma....

Should I cover it and trap it so as not to incur any spidery vengeance, or should I just crush it and be done with it? If i trap it I still wouldn't be able to get out my door since it would be in the way of opening it. And I had to use the bathroom. So that was my decision, I calmly positioned the basket, took a bunch of deep breaths to build up my courage and then....

It moved.
I squealed.
It moved again towards the door.
I squealed and moved back.
It disappeared out the door.

I stood there staring, thinking it was gonna pop back in. It didnt. So I baby stepped closer to the door and thinking it was gonna suddenly slam my door wide open and come flying at me like a vicious rabid flying spider, I closed the door and ran to my bed. Watching the door. Just watching.

And waiting.....