Restaurants

Recently I've been going to restaurants more often. In fact more so in the past 2weeks than I have in the past 5 years! Maybe because I feel out of place in them and don't like making a fool of myself.

So we'll go to a restaurant, be seated, and then the waitress will give us our menus. It's there I panic.The same thing always happens when I receive a menu...

"What should I get? What can I get? what should I ask for? I'm not paying so something non too pricey. Well what should I get!?!!?"

In the middle of my mental brutality of barraging myself with questions, and vaguely skimming the menu but not remembering A THING, the waitress will ask me what I want to drink.

Now since most likely I have never been to the restaurant I have no idea what they have, and I cant remember any beverages that I skimmed (IF i did), so I'll stare up at the waitress, blushing and mentally kicking myself for not looking for the drinks first, and ask her "What do you have?" She'll go on a list of what they have and I'll be making a list in my head of what sounds good. Occasionally if I'm really craving it I'll ask if they have any cherry flavored drinks. The results are about 50/50.

So the waitress will leave and I'll have time to skim the menu again (SOMETIMES), this time taking note of things I might want. Then I'll compare things I want by what I would like most and by price. Then the waitress comes and asks what we want to order....by this time I'm either still in the middle of deciding or I've JUST decided. So I'll tell her....and have a 75% chance of stumbling over my words and feeling like an idiot.

After the food comes I'll keep thinking about how clumsy I am, and mentally assault myself. "Don't you dare drop a fork or anything, if you do you'll be stabbed. Don't you dare knock over the drink or your next one will have spit in it. Don't you dare drop food onto you, you'll die of embarrassment!"

And I'll look at whoever is there with me watching them react all normal and think, "Why am I the only one who feels so out of place q.q It's because you hate me isn't it restaurant?!" And it's then that I either spill my drink or food, drop a utensil, or something of the likes to thoroughly embarrass myself and verify that restaurants do, indeed, hate me.